Why It´s Okay Not To Go Out On New Year's Eve (or ever)

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I´ve had a very relaxing New Year's celebration. First a little bit of dinner with my family, then watching Friends alone on my couch until midnight, followed by watching the fireworks with my family, and finally watching Friends in bed until I fell asleep. I must say I was very happy with that kind of celebration but during the evening I saw a lot of people complain on Twitter that they're disappointed that they didn't go out. Personally, I think relaxed evenings in are always better than going out and let me explain to you why.

On a sidenote I want to mention that this does not apply to mental or physical health problems that suddenly came up on New Year's Eve. It absolutely sucks when you had amazing plans but then your health decides to act up so you have to cancel - you should definitely complain about that!

Expectations Are So High

I find that I have huge expectations for any night when I go out. I'm basically Anna at the beginning of Frozen What If I Meet The One?! Sometimes those expectations are meeting The One, other times it´s a certain song being played, having a special moment with my friend or something as small as someone complimenting my makeup. The truth is, I always come home disappointed from nights out because they just didn't turn out the way I wanted them to.

Partly, those expectations are my own fault: I'm the one expecting anything from a situation in the end. But I think the other big part of those expectations is set by the media. Every romantic story is trying to tell you that you can meet your soulmate anywhere if you just go outside  and be yourself. And stories that aren't romantic still depict nights out as this magical, fun night with your friends. So obviously I'm going to expect those things too!

Those expectations definitely get higher and higher the more preparation I have. I recently went out spontaneously to have dinner and a few drinks. Because I made that decision half an hour before leaving there was no time to get any expectations and I had a wonderful time. On set dates like New Year's Eve there is so much time for expectations to grow so high that nobody could ever fulfil them! Obviously I'm gonna come home disappointed and that's really not a good way to start the new year.

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Feeling Comfortable

I don't like being in midst of many people (which is partly caused by my anxiety). In general, I just don't feel very comfortable around new people because I always feel like I'm just embarrassing myself. I´d rather have a small celebration with the people I love or have a cosy night at home. Especially with a new year approaching I find it much more valuable to spend time with the people I love and to show them how much I appreciate them!

I've been doing this a lot more recently. I have started a routine where when my friends go out I spend the evening with them while they get ready for the night out - meaning that I get there with my makeup bag, dressed in sweats and not wearing any makeup - that's just how I feel the most comfortable. But once they head out to the club I'm going home. That means I've spent a great evening chatting with my friends and helping them get ready but I also got to go home and get a good night´s sleep and don't feel disappointed with the night.

I think this is something we all should embrace even more. I love spending evenings with my friends and doing fun things and it should be totally okay if you don't wanna join them for the club later. It took quite a while to explain that to my friend but eventually they got it and it really made me so happy. I think feeling comfortable is such an important part of our lives and while only uncomfortable situations make us grow I think opting for the comfortable is totally okay when it comes to nights out!

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You Never Meet Great People While Out

Chances are that when you're having a night out (whether it be dinner, drinks or a club) you go with a group of friends. From personal experience I can tell you that unless someone brings another friend along you don't really get to meet any new people. I feel like other people are often intimidated by groups of friends and going in a group always seems like you don't want to be broken up. This gets even worse if you're going in a mixed group.

On a different side, alcohol is often involved on nights out and it completely distorts people. That funny guy you met in the club - or rather you assume he's funny because you couldn't actually understand anything he was shouting in your ear - might be a total downer that doesn't like to leave his house much. What I'm trying to say is that most likely people won't seem the same in the daylight. That even goes for yourself or friends. Alcohol is a lot of fun but it definitely changes people a bit.

My preferred method of meeting of meeting new people is tagging along with one friend´s other friend group - preferably to a relaxed evening on "neutral" ground. That way you meet new people in a relaxed environment - while feeling comfortable! - and can get to know them a bit instead of going by their moves on the dance floor or drunken slurs.

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There's Too Much Pressure

Going out is amazing if you're really excited for it. But I know that most of the time the only reason I could be convinced to go out is that everyone else is going too. There's so much pressure about having to go out from time to time because you're a loser or a fun-killer otherwise. We're constantly surrounded by the pressure of having he perfect live and those include having nights out. People share amazing pictures from nights out with their friends so we all need to go out and have as much fun as they did, too, right?! Also this leads right back to all the expectations we get from almost everywhere in our lives!

The truth is that, no, you don't have to go out just because everyone else is. Instead you should explore how much you really feel like going out and if its even your thing. If you don't want to go out you should just stay home. Personally, whenever I went along just because I felt pressured to I just found everything annoying. Drunk people were too drunk, the music was too loud and not the right kind, my feet hurt after a few minutes and all I really wanted to do was snuggle up in my bed.

Again, it´s much nicer to spend an evening at home (or at a friends place) and be excited for that and therefore having a great time than spending money on something that just ends up annoying you. I know I´d much rather start the new year (or just another day) having a great time relaxing with my friends than already feeling annoyed.

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It´s So Much Work

You all know that I absolutely love makeup and if I'm in the right mood I can spend an hour or two creating my perfect look. But there are days when I just don't feel like putting on makeup at all; especially when I've spent the whole day in my PJs I really, really don't want to change out of them.

In general, getting ready for a night out is a lot of work. You have to be dressed nicely, you have to wear great makeup, you have to wear heels (or other uncomfortable shoes) and then there's the whole drinking part. Those are a few things that we definitely feel pressured to do as well and they're what makes going out exciting and a lot of fun if you're in the right mood. But if you're not they're just annoying and you kind of end up hating that you put all that effort in if you're just disappointed and annoyed by the end of the night (see previous points).

It was so nice to spend New Year´s Eve in a comfy jumper and only wear jeans for dinner and watching the fire works - the rest of the night was spent in PJs snuggled up on the sofa. It was unbelievably relaxing and took so much of the pressure of New Year´s Eve off. I often went to girls nights in without any makeup on and in comfortable yoga pants and it always was the best - spending a nice evening with friends and having not to do any work beforehand!


I'm obviously not trying to get you to never go out again - If you're in the right mood it can be the best experience. But I hope I've shown you that there are some great reasons why you should never feel you have to go out if you don't like to. It´s important to always do what you feel good doing - if that's going out for the night that's awesome but if it´s everything besides that that's great too! We should really stop feeling pressured (and pressuring) other people to live the same lives - some like going out while others enjoy spending time snuggled up on the sofa more. And both of those are equally great!

What was your most recent experience going out like? How did you spend New Year´s Eve?

1 comment

  1. I have to admit, I've never really been someone who goes out. I would much rather have a sip of wine at home with my family, than show myself up in the local bar, even if it makes me boring x

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